Am I too old for this?

I am 35 years old, for now…By the time I was 30 I had already been married and was on my way to divorce. I had a career that was going well even though without a college education it was limited. I have children who are my motivation for doing everything. Here I sit now, about a year away from getting my bachelor’s degree but in reality I see now that I am starting over. Not just career wise but in life at general. I now have an amazing girlfriend who is beyond supportive. I am on the threshold of starting a new career. I realize however that I am most likely one of the older people doing this. Am I too old to start over and be relevant? Am I just fooling myself here? I don’t believe I am but I have been wrong before.

 

Me

A man alone
In a ramshackle home
It may not be much
But he makes it his own

The meals he makes
Small, bland and  alone
May not taste great
But they are his own

The cash in his pocket
Not large in its sum
Not enough for all
But plenty for this one

While he longs for another
And the job is not done
He feels that she loves him
Even makes him her “ONE”

He loves her completely
She knows this is true
And if she agrees
He would make her his “TWO”

 

The Poo.

A diamond is a diamond and nothing sparkles quite like a properly cut and shaped one. I think we can all agree on that. So how do you make a ruby shine brighter than a diamond?  Surround it by coal.
There is, I feel, a profound message here. If you find yourself to be a lustrous ruby surrounded by shining diamonds then worry not about their shine because in a different venue you can gleam brighter than they ever could.

 

Moving On

I sit down on occasion and look at Facebook and see pictures of family and friends and former friends and disappointment sets in. Let me offer a preface and some truth, I am happy for the things that the people I know have accomplished but it does sadden me seeing how their life appears to have progressed positively while I feel as though mine has stagnated. I know I am working towards a better future but things like this seem to rob me of momentum. How do you all keep moving when faced with adversity?  Do you do it because of an internal motivation? What is the key to this?  Any help or idea’s?

 

The “New” Nightmare

So here I sit, alone and introspective on a holiday where most people are eating large meals with family and friends. I have my cat, not my kids, not my girlfriend, not my parents or any of my 10 friends.
I sit on the couch wanting for turkey and cranberry sauce and dwelling in the darkness of my mind when revelation hits. I have realized that fear is here, but only because this situation is new, I usually have someone around at these times and now I don’t but isn’t new often a nightmare? I know new can be exciting when we have a foreshadowing of what to expect but unexpected new is usually terrifying isn’t it?
We often try to enter new but find ourselves backing into the old, old habits, experiences, expectations and patterns simply because they aren’t new but expected, known and often comfortable, even when we know that they are not healthy or good for us we still return. So here I am, knees shaking, stomach butterflies going full hurricane walking into the unknown frightening nightmare of new, wish me luck. Any advice on how to deal with new or how you have found strength or even joy in dealing with the unforeseen new? I am open for help and suggestions, maybe a story of how new was scary but became great.

 

Trash Day

I am new to blogging, not just writing them but reading them also. In truth, I am unsure as to why I am doing this in the first place. Maybe we need some space to vent, make note of the odd and unusual things we encounter and of course lets not forget the good things although those seem rare in comparison to the other things.

So today, in my neighborhood, is trash day and I had a thought. What if we make today a national holiday called National Trash Day? Now I know there is a day dedicated to garbage men and women but, and I warn you I am going to get a little “meta” here, what if we make it a Human Trash Day? A lot of people out there partake in the New Years Disappointment Cycle – make a vow, not keep it, get disappointed, make the same vow next year and of course the cycle starts all over. On National Trash Day we should take out our proverbial trash or literal if need be.

I am a procrastinator at times but lately it seems that I have had so much going on that I have been putting things off. Now, I will justify this by saying I have 2 jobs and go to school full-time but I have been neglecting my school and housework and what really upsets me about this and myself, is that I am so close to finishing my degree I should be trying to find that hypothetical runners high and just push on through this and, while I will not allow myself to quit, I do find myself doubting my resolve at times. So while this semester is almost over and I am not sure I can salvage much from it, I am still “taking out my trash” of procrastination and putting my full effort into pushing through this and starting anew in the new year.

What do you find is your “trash” in life? How do you find the motivation and ability to deal with your trash and are you ready, like I am, to take it out?